Well, actually, it does stop about 4:30pm.  The party ends approximately 30 minutes after your children have had an enormous piece of cake and a pile of ice cream.  Approximately 20 minutes before the end of the party, you realize that it would have been better to serve cake and ice cream at the beginning of the party, since the kids have access to a “Little Gym” – complete with padding on every surface and permission to actually climb and jump off of anything they want.

But the boys had a great time wishing their cousin a Happy Birthday.  He just turned the big “O-5″.

Lots of jumping, running, falling, screaming and fun was had by all.

Thanks to Uncle T for setting it all up and for letting me practice my “Uneven Bars” routine.

Mystery light switches…we have no less than three switches that we have no idea what they control.  For all we know, the constant flipping of these switches could have cause the TVA spill.  I have investigated these switches and I know they operate something….I found this out the hard way…in a cloud of black smoke and a bright blue spark….but that’s another story.

I would like to report that we now have found peace and comfort in  solving the smallest of problems.  We now have a garage door opener.  I know what you are asking…”So what?”

Well, you see when we moved in we couldn’t find the garage door opener for our garage door.  No big deal.  We’ll just use the button on the wall mounted door opener in the garage.  And this is what we’ve been doing for months.  But what you may not realize is the acrobatics that are involved.

Let me explain.

We would load the kids (and usually the dogs) into the minivan and then open the door with the wall button.  I would usually then back the minivan out of the garage while THE WIFE patiently waited at the top of the stairs.  When I had successfully backed the minivan out of the garage, THE WIFE would then dart down the stairs, while the garage door was closing, and then, because of the laser senor at the bottom that stops the door from closing if something or someone is in the way, THE WIFE would “hop” over the laser…while trying not to hit her head on the descending garage door.  It was a sight to see.  And the more she performed this move she added high kicks, mid-air turns, and other moves she developed during her years as a high-school cheerleader.  It became quite entertaining.

The big problem was when I wasn’t with her to assist in the ‘garage door closing procedure.’  When she was making a trip to the store; she would have to load the kids (and sometimes dogs) into the van, open the door, back out the minivan, put it in park, run back into the garage, hit the button, dart down the stairs, run through the garage, perform her acrobatics, and then she could drive off.  And then when she returned home…put the minivan in park, go through the front door and into the garage, open the garage door from inside, get back into the minivan, pull it inside, unload the kids and the close the door from the wall mounted button.

Annoying to say the least!

But last night she finally solved this problem.  A simple search for our type of garage door opener on the internet, a call to the store and a quick trip…which meant she would have to perform her acrobatics one more time.

The tiny little remote, which was about $35 was now in hand.  A few minutes of reading the manual and…tadaaa….we now have a garage door opener…like any normal sensible American family.

I think I will miss the acrobatics, but we are glad to be basking in the pleasure of a garage door opener.

And you may be asking, “Why didn’t you take care of this sooner?”

The simple answer is that I suck as a husband and I somewhat enjoyed watching my beautiful wife display her coordination every time we went somewhere.  You can only imagine how stupid I looked trying to perform the ‘garage door closing routine.’  I am not nearly as graceful.

Oh and by the way, I learned this morning that you should not leave the new garage door opener where a 3 year old can find it.  When I left for work this morning, the garage door was half way open…or closed…depending on if you are a half glass empty kind of person.  So we have now added the the “NO TOUCH” list.  THE MEESTER (our 3 year old) is quite disappointed, but mommy is happy. (There were actual HIGH-FIVES all around when I got the opener programmed and working…sad really when you think about it).

[photo credits]

With two mortgage payments, two kids, and two dogs (I am beginning to see a pattern here), The Wife is becoming a Jedi Master at clipping coupons.  At first, I thought it was just a scheme by the major stores to get you to come in and buy stuff you didn’t need.  But The Wife has taken it to a whole new level.

I was not a believer until one day I said, “We’re out of dog food.”

The Wife said, “Here. Take this coupon to Target and buy a bag of dog food….it’s on sale and you’ll get a dollar off on the dog food.  And then when you check out, they will give you a gift card.”

I thought, “Yeah right.  Target can’t stay in business if they give money away for products that are already on sale AND that I have a coupon for.”

I decided to go along with the plan…although I let it be known for the record that if the FBI showed up at the door, I was pleading the Fifth.

Long story short, I came home with a discount bag of dog food and a $5 gift card to Target….which goes into the Christmas fund.  Needless to say, I was convinced.

So what’s the system…I have no idea, but here are the sites where The Wife works her vodoo magic.

Money Saving Mom…this is where the Wife starts out most of her schemeimg.  It lists a variety of deals for any given week and also includes daily updates for free stuff and great coupon mafia information.

Common Sense With Money…this site also lists deals and links to other sites that have great coupons.  Now it’s getting good.

In the age of the free market (if it can still be called that given what Congress is doing to the tax payers), CVS (Extra Care Bucks) and Walgreens (Register Rewards) are trying to out-do each other at giving money away.  Now you have to usually buy something in order to get the in-store cash coupons, but for example…one week we needed a toothbrush, some chicken broth, and pudding.  We walked into our local Walgreens and The Wife said (with all the confidence of a professional mother of two)…”Watch this.”

She grabbed a toothbrush, two cans of chicken broth, and the pudding for a dessert she was going to make…and went to the checkout.  The gal rang the items up, The Wife gave the gal at the register her coupons.  the Wife paid $0.57 and the gal at the register gave her a Walgreens coupon worth $5 dollars.  Somehow we got stuff we needed and Walgreens paid us to get it.

Don’t even get me started on what The Wife pulls off at Kroger.  She clips coupons from the Sunday paper and files those away for her shopping trips.  She then goes to the sites… shortcuts.com, cellfire.com, and pgesaver.com.  She “loads” coupons here onto her Kroger card…and then the magic happens.  Not only do they honor the paper coupons she takes with her to the store, but then they also deduct the coupons on her card, and when you combine this with weekly sales, double coupon days, and other mafia-type schemes, we are almost making money on eating food….which for a guy like me that likes to eat…is a very good thing.

In summary, the grocery budget has gone down quite a bit (at least 30%) and the quality of the food and products have increased.  I have been ejoying JIF peanutbutter for weeks now instead of the generic brand.

So if you think you have what it takes, step up and try to out do The Wife.  I think she would enjoy a challenge and is always looking to save more on the products we consume.

Couponing does have it’s downside though…it’s hard to justify spending money on a monthly poker game when The Wife is working so hard to save money…so that just gives me you more incentive to slow play those trip Kings…you could make mommy very happy.

From time to time, as we all grow a little bit older, we need a nip here and a tuck there.  Well this goes for our little blog here.  KTOWN is undergoing a facelift and our hopes are that you won’t mind too much over the next few days.  KTOWN is making an attempt to establsih itself as the “GO-TO” blog for all things KTOWN.  Bare with us…we promise you won’t feel a thing…and hopefully it won’t look like we got into a head-on with a tanker-truck full of hot candle wax.

My sources are telling me that the election on Tuesday will produce the highest voter turn-out in American history (that’s even if you don’t count all the fraudulent votes cast by ACORN).  Whether you are a Republican, a Democrat. or a third party wacko, the results from the election are bound to produce some animosity amongst the American voting public.

I am hoping that Obama is not elected to the highest office in the free world.  And here’s why:

Electing an inexperienced, pro-tax, big spending, pro-abortion, socialist to the office of the Presidency will surely hurt the American public at large.  This is the biggest no-brainer in the history of the earth.

Maybe you agree with Obama and his socialistic tendencies.  The government, or elected politicians, should spread the wealth around.  It should be the government’s job to take from those you can and give it to those who won’t.  That’s fine, but you must then explain to me why, if I am working like heck, to produce a service or good that someone else finds valuable, the government should have any more say in what I do or how I operate my business.  Adding more taxes to small or big businesses just adds more cost to the consumer.  An unexplained tax policy that is no deeper than “spreading the wealth around” creates a boondoggle for not only the business owner but the consumer as well.

Let’s break this down, lower taxes to businesses mean higher profits and more growth for business…which in turn means higher revenues to the government.  Higher revenues to the government because the business creates jobs and more jobs mean more income tax…for the government.  Why a Presidential canidate would want to change this seems irresponsible and uneducated…or just plain demoralizing to the average “Joe.”

You may say, “That’s a good point” but doesn’t Obama want to help the little guy by allowing more opportunity for the little guy.  The answer is No.  His tax policy will do to business what his heatlh care plan will do to the individual.  Under a government run health care system, the government removes the responsibility of the individual to take care of themselves.  If people don’t take it upon themselves to “be healthy” they will depend on the government to do it for them.  This will burden the government system and the quality of care someone may have been able to receive if they had those dollars to spend how they choose.  So instead of saving money to pay for MRI’s and drugs that…let’s say…someone with MS may need throughout his/her lifetime, those dollars will be taken from me by force and given to someone else.  Therefore reducing the numbers of dollars I have to spend on my own family’s health care.  Dollars that were created because I chose to go out and hunt something down and kill it myself…without the help of the government.

“But you don’t understand, my old lady suffers from hypertension and diabetes becasue she smoked like a chimeny and ate like a pig.  You are saying that we don’t deserve help.”  Sure you do.  Someone should have helped you to quit smoking and told you that the cost of the value meal will cost you much more in the long run.

“But Obama wants to bring about hope and change.  Isn’t that a good thing?”

I don’t think you understand your question.  Hope for what and change from what?  Right now America feeds the world, America is the most generous nation in history, but publicly and privately, America is the most technologicaly advanced nation in the world.  Hundreds of thosusands of people from all over the world flock to this nation every year for education and an apportunity to lead a life that cannot be realized elsewhere in the world.  That is hope.  And why would you want to change that?  The change that Obama talks about is a change to a more egalitarian society. Sounds good.  Everbody is equal.  But that is a lie.  People are not equal.  If they were, I would be the back-up quarterback for the Titians and I would be leading them to a phenomial season.  But I suck at throwing a football.

Now don’t get me wrong…all people are created equal.  And when given liberty and freedom to pursue the gifts that God, the author of the universe, has given them, then they can excell in the areas of those gifts if they so choose.

If the government stiffles that choice and limits the abilities of the indvidual to pursue his/her dreams how is that good for the individual…and if it’s not good for the individual…how can it somehow be postive for the common good.

Hey, if Obama is elected…fine.  If McCain is elected fine.  I put my faith for my well being in a much higher place than any fallen man (and I include myself in that category) and look forward to the day that I am ruled by a King.  But until that day comes…I hope that the kind of change that Obama is promising is never realized.  If all this hope leads to a change toward socialism, then I plead NOT GUILTY.

Saturday is moving day and the plan is to be finished at noon eating pizza and enjoying the company of family and friends and cold beverages and watching the game.

Swing by, unpack a box and watch the game with us….you’ll have to bring you own chair because we don’t really have much furniture.

While watching that, it reminded me of this. (Warning: colorful language)