I like a little office humor as much as the next guy, but if you are not in on the joke it can be down right scary.
So we had just finished breakfast at the ‘Barrel’ (where we regularly meet for accountability…usually a spiritually uplifting experience), and like any red-blooded American male, I had to do my ‘duty’ after polishing off “Mama’s French Toast Breakfast”.
Now the “We” in this story is myself and a ‘friend’ of mine that also recently been my boss on a few projects. He runs a local firm and I have known him for years. And he thinks he’s really funny (and usually he is).
Anyway, where was I…oh yes my ‘duty’. Like a couple of sorority girls, we were “on the same cycle”, and found ourselves in neighboring stalls. You really get to know a person when you share that kind of air with them.
Now I am the kind of guy that doesn’t rush things like that in the morning and have been known to read entire chapters while performing this ‘duty.’ My friend, on the other hand, is Mr. Git-R-Done. Wow. I’m not sure how he had time to complete the task at hand, and when I asked him if he was sure he was done, he replied, “Man, I’ve got things to do. People are depending on me.”
OK. He’s right. He is a very important person with lots of responsibilities. But not so high brow that he can’t play a joke on me…his lowly employee.
So there I am, taking my time, doing what I do, when I do, and as my friend exists the facilities…he turns off the lights. So there I am…in a bathroom with no windows or secondary lighting….completely in the dark. And my friend…didn’t even pause after turning off the lights…he’s gone. I know he’s not coming back.
So I did what any Eagle Scout and avid fan of MacGyver would do. I pulled out my trusty Blackberry Pearl and continued my business by the soft glow of the small screen.
All was going as well as could be expected, when I heard the door open…and because I know my friend would NOT have come back to shed some light on the subject, I knew it was someone not ‘in’ on the joke.
I do not have superpowers, or ESP, but I know exactly what this person was thinking two seconds after he flipped the light on. He walked into a dark bathroom. By all logic this also means an empty bathroom, but not this day. I gave the customary “sniff sniff” of the nose and “slight muffled cough” that most guys give, like a lion marking his kill when some thing else is approaching his territory. It was at this moment that I could tell by the adjustment in his stride, the slight skip in his breath, and the overall general weirdness emanating from his being…that this dude was freaked out.
“What the heck is this guy doing in the dark in that stall! I’ve got to get out of here….”
He didn’t even take time to wash his hands. Poor fella.